Saturday, June 13, 2015
Do you really know who you are? This book can help you answer this question!
As a certified personal development coach, one of the things that I consistently see in my clients is a total lack of spending any time with themselves. Often, when given a list of different values and asked to prioritize them, you will see most people will put “Self” at the end.
In the short term, things are fine like this. Stretched out over time, however, the inevitable end result is disillusionment, lack of energy, and frustration.
How do I know this? If you pour everything into everyone and everything (work, kids sports, etc.) you will eventually reach the point where you find that you haven’t done anything for yourself in quite a long time.
People will try to justify this saying that they are giving everything to others, and wrap themselves in a shroud of nobility with the statement.
1. What happens when you have nothing else to give? It is going to happen – you can’t run anything on drained batteries. You need to recharge yourself to be able to give. Doing something for yourself is not being selfish – it actually will allow you to be and do even better things for others.
2. What happens when the people you are giving your all to either no longer need or want your help? Think empty nest syndrome here. It is no secret that almost all parents go through this with their teenagers. You want to help, but they are trying to break away and be independent. The giver is left alone with no sense of who they really are – their identity has been tied into another instead of their own.
3. Who are you? Short question, but how you answer this will play a huge part in your happiness and success.
This is where Antoinetta Vogels’ “Healthy Sense of Self” is going to be a game changer for some people. This book is both scholarly and readable, which isn’t always the case. In it, readers will find some of the thoughts that they have are really thoughts that they have allowed others to put there. Then there are the standard demons of depression, insomnia, and addiction. Self limiting beliefs are another gremlin that this book can help you conquer.
The end result?
“People with a healthy Sense of themselves know what they want in life; they also know their boundaries. That enables them to come up with a plan for their living and their lives, and they are unlikely to feel the need to higher authorities to do that for them. They certainly would not consider giving their lives to people who then use them for their won purposes, just as their self-absorbed, abusive parent used to do. They are able to manage themselves and let their lives be an expression of their own opinion and preferences. They do not need to be rewarded for good behavior by a person who is higher in rank for they intrinsically and sincerely know their own value.”
If that one paragraph speaks to you, look into a “Healthy Sense of Self” to help guide you to get to that end result.