A journey through the hell of teenage mental illness.

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Cutting the Soul:  A journey into the mental illness of a teenager through the eyes of his mother by Theresa Larsen was a difficult book to get through.  I don't mean writing style, grammar, or something mundane like that.  I mean the subject matter.  Theresa writes of her year's long battle against her son's mental illness that manifested in cutting and suicidal thoughts.

I could feel how taxed, exasperated, and at wit's end this mother was through the pages.  I kept having to check how much was left in the e-book because I was getting to the point where I wasn't sure I could keep going back for more - and I didn't have to live it.  How Larsen was able to sit down and relive the darkest of days to actually finish this book is a testament to how devoted she is to helping others who are going through this.

Having been a high school teacher, I am familiar with the different ways kids can "self-harm" - reading this gave me an insight as to just how horrific a cost it is to the entire family.  The amount of doctors, facilities, high schools, and medications that had to be juggled were enough to break down even the strongest willed person.

Throughout the book, Larsen refers back to her son's journal, giving everyone a glimpse into the mind of the person who is suffering.  These were by far the hardest passages for me to read. 
As an outsider, it is easy to look at these kinds of situations and think - "that person just needs to snap out of it" - or - "why don't the parents do something to stop this?"  Unfortunately, the answer is neither that simple or logical.

I applaud Larsen for putting her story out there for others who might have to travel down this road.  If you have a teenager who is depressed or self-harms, this book will  let you know that you are not alone.  Larsen could literally save you a small fortune by her insights as to what to look for in a facility.  

More importantly, this book should give you hope.  I am not going to call this a "spoiler," because a happy ending should not "spoil" anyone's day.  In the end, Matthew seems to have gotten to a point where things were looking much brighter.  There were parts of me preparing to read an end to this story that I really did not want to imagine.  To Matthew's credit, along with the Larsen family who supported him along the way, that is a plot line that can hopefully stay forever in the "delete" file.  

To Theresa, Matthew, and the rest of your family - my hope is that you may have many more good days than bumps in the road in your future.

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(This author purchased an ad package.  This does not affect the review in any way - it only moves the book to the "head of the line.  This review is my honest opinion and thoughts of the book.)

Cutting the Soul: A journey into the mental illness of a teenager through the eyes of his mother

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Theresa Larsen’s son, Matthew, comes to her with a cut on his hand, explaining it away as an accident with a pocket knife. But as she cleans and treats the wound, she discovers dozens of slashes covering both of his arms. Thus begins Larsen's compelling personal memoir about what it's like to be the parent of a mentally ill teenager.

Cutting the Soul offers a firsthand look at mental illness, both financially and emotionally. Matthew, fourteen years old when he starts cutting, goes on to face other hardships, including suicide attempts, severe depression, and multiple stays in psychiatric hospitals.

Readers get an inside look at Matthew's life through the inclusion of his selected journal entries, and Larsen shares her own struggles with personal demons as she tries to help her son. It's a first-person account and an educational guide worth reading for any parent who’s coping with the mental illness of a child.

Check out this 5 star review by a customer!

Will and love for her child to do what was necessary---even when ...

by Thomas Phillips on January 13, 2015

This is an extremely important book for anyone who cares for someone suffering from mental illness. If you haven't been touched by this disease, you will be touched by one mother's determination, will and love for her child to do what was necessary---even when necessary was heartbreaking. Cutting the soul is an honest,open and emotionally jarring read with the power to offer hope and resources to those who need it and don't know where to turn.

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(This is not a review - this is the cover and book description from Amazon and is part of an advertising package purchased by the author).

Interview with "Cutting the Soul" author Theresa Larsen

Amazon

1. It seemed as if you had to learn much of what to do as far as the treatment for your son on your own. What resources did you turn to and which were the most helpful? 

I was surprised by the lack of information and resources about mental health for parents. The internet became my friend and I spent many hours a day trying to find what I needed. I can honestly say I “stumbled” across several great resources and have since compiled a list on my website. The ones that provided the best information for me were: http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net, (Mental Health America) http://www.nami.org (National Alliance on Mental Illness), http://www.natsap.org (National Association of Therapeutic Schools and Programs).

2. There were many setbacks that you describe. What was it that was in you that kept you moving forward? 

The desire to keep my son alive was always at the forefront of all of my decisions involving his care. I didn’t always feel as if I had great choices offered to me, but I did my best to muddle through and find the help my son needed. I also have the most amazing and supportive husband. I could not have done this alone without him by my side. He was often the voice of reason when I felt hopeless.

3. This is a very personal account about your family that you wrote about. How and why did you make the decision that you would put your story “out there?” 

I started the memoir as a therapeutic goal for myself. It helped me to sort out my feelings and answer the question: Why do I react to certain things the way I do? I had made many notes and written in journals and calendar books for several years when my son was in and out of treatment, plus I had all of his treatment documents from professionals who cared for him. Putting the words on paper in a chronological way was the easy part. When it came to difficult sections of self-harm or psychosis I broke those up into small pieces and wrote a little at a time. The hardest part of the book was the editing. It took almost twice as long to edit as it did to write. I cut more than half of the original writing out of the memoir. Polishing and rereading were grueling, but in doing this I realized that I could help others. I would have loved to have a book like this to read and give me hope when I was caring for my son and to have resources that were easily accessible. I decided to publish the memoir and start my website, adding blogs to give information and a resources page with everything I found helpful. http://www.theresalarsen.com

4. I see that your son, Matthew, was the illustrator for the cover. Was he excited to see some of his artwork on a book? 

My son has been very supportive of my decision to write and publish Cutting the Soul. He is an excellent artist and I thought it was appropriate that the illustration on the cover was a self-portrait of him. He didn’t draw this specifically for my book, this was an art piece he had done several years prior to my writing, but it seemed to fit perfectly. It was pointed out to me by a friend in the psychology field about the fascinating example of the right side of the brain
controlling the left side of the body. The right side of the face in the illustration is in shadow, the left side of the brain, that controls the right side of the body, is responsible for understanding and use of language, memory, and detailed analysis of information. During my son’s darkest times, his ability to communicate and interpret information was poor or I could say shadowed. The artwork depicts this state of mind beautifully.

5. What is the nicest comment that you have received from someone who has read your book? 

The nicest comment I have received about my book is from my daughter, partly because I did not expect her to read it. She lived this with us and I didn’t think she would want to relive it by reading about it, but she did. She texted me after she was finished and said, “I have no words--absolutely incredible. I have extremely underestimated all you went through with Matthew. I have absolutely no idea how you coped with that, and still managed to be an amazing mother to me. I am so proud to call myself your daughter. Your strength inspires me. If I can become half the woman you are I would be thrilled. I’m so blessed to have you as my mom. I love you more than you’ll ever know.”

6. What do you know now about writing a book that you wish you knew when you first started? 

I wish I knew how long it took to edit. It would have given me an idea of a time frame for completing the book. Editing is a very important process that can’t be left out or skimped on.