Monday, February 2, 2015

One small step for zombies, one huge mess for mankind.......

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Will, owner of Will's Tavern, is about to have a change made to his bar menu.  He wasn't really looking for a change, and even if he was, Will certainly didn't approve of the main ingredients that made up the majority of the new one-item menu for his new customers that were coming in hordes.

Normally, Will would have been thrilled with a huge crowd gathering at his bar.  Especially without having to put on a "happy hour" to do so.  But the new crowd goes wherever the new delicacy can be found - and that just happens to be live humans.  Zombies are well known for eating and not ordering drinks - and hell - they would probably just try and shuffle off without paying the tab anyways. While it is bad business for your well paying regulars to be eaten by non-paying Zombies - paid in full tabs and no tips are the last thing that Will is currently concerned about.

Across the city, a mob boss is having issues of his own.  Nicky "No Nickname" Fratelli is racking up a body count - and not one of them is even a good old family "hit".  In fact - it is mostly his own goomba's and muscle that are winding up dead.  But Nicky notices that they don't stay exactly "dead" for long.  With just his most loyal bodyguard, Paulie Hammerhead - Nicky makes his way over to Will's Tavern for a nice cold one while he tries to wrap his brain around what the hell is going on.

Rounding out this team is a family with a klepto kid, a stuffy father, a wife that has eyes for about anything that moves, and a 15 year old daughter who is just trying like crazy to latch onto anyone who can get her as far away from her family as possible.  Oh yeah, and a few bar patrons who decided not to be on the menu, but most of them are falling down drunks.

So, if you were in charge of the country and the Zombies decide to have a convention in a city in the middle of nowhere, what would you plan on doing?  Well, you could send in the army and wipe out the Zombie horde.  Or, you could do what comes naturally to politicians and start spinning, lying, and creating a diversion.  How about a moon landing to distract everyone?  The fact that there isn't anyone really in space to land on the moon poses just a small problem.  That is until B-Movie director Mark Mathews is caught in a very compromising position and the army makes him a deal.  Make a movie, quick - featuring us landing on the moon.  It doesn't have to win any Academy Awards - it just has to be believable. 

With all of these moving parts, one thing remains constant.  Zombies must eat........


OK - I am going to admit something that will probably make everyone gasp is shock.  I can honestly say I have only watched two movies featuring zombies in my lifetime - "Abraham Lincoln Zombie Slayer" (just because it looked so horrible!!) and "World War Z".  Not a single zombie book.  So by no means am I an undead aficionado.  

"One Undead Step" by Ian McClellan may have gotten me to turn a corner.  McClellan had a great paced story, and I was really liking all of the characters - that is, until they got eaten.  I was kind of surprised that there are no picky zombies when it comes to food - not one "I won't eat my broccoli" finicky eater exists among them.

McClellan also delighted me with a chapter written from the zombie's point of view.  Again, I don't have much experience in this genre - but I thought it was brilliant.  Short chapter, kind of focused on a single point - but apparently zombies are not great multi-taskers - so I guess I understand!

Anyways - you need to quit reading this blog post and download this book.  I need to quit writing anyways and get myself some steak cooked very rare now.......

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